What stops you, what blocks you and why?

On Thursday 13th January I was lucky to have a dance class taken by Cecilia MacFarlane. It was very empowering and it brought many things to my attention. We did a lot of reflective work and one of the things that stood out to me the most was the question 'What stopes me, what blocks me and why?' It could be to do with that dance session only or something that is continually preventing you like an injury. It made me think more about my left arm and how it restricts my dancing.

I was born with Erbs Palsy; a condition that causes paralysis to my left arm. This was due to 1-5 of the primary nerves in my left arm being dead because of the position of my arm in the womb. I regained the usage of my arm after months of physio therapy, thus the treatment stopped. However, when I was 14 and I began to dance more extensively, I realised that I found my left arm wouldn't quite do what I wanted it to do. After experimenting I found I couldn't straighten my arm fully; it would only straighten to 130 degree and there was no lateral rotation possible.

I was referred to a physio who told me that not only did I have limited movement but that my shoulder muscles were not developed properly and went out of place during certain movements. They gave me various exercise to improve my mobility and placement of shoulder muscles but not to get my hopes up.

Since then my shoulder muscles have developed correctly and the physio say it is unnoticable now and it no longer goes out of place. The extension of my arm has also greatly improved. However, the hardest part has been the lateral rotation. There have been some improvements but it has been an extremely slow and frustrating process.

As with anything the more dance and exercises I do, the greater movement range I have and the easier it is to perform. I have just started back into more rigorous dancing after the Christmas holidays and I have found  that my arm has become slightly stiff from the break in dancing. It has made me more aware of the need to step up my arm exercises during breaks so there is less chance of this happening again. I am constantly aware of my arm both during dance and in everyday activities. I have to translate certain dance movements so that I am able to do them and there are some things that I will never be able to do because of it. Yet, I have discovered that although I am continually and painfully aware of my arm it is not noticable to others. Few notice it by themselves and the few that do notice it are usually dancers or physios and it is whilst i'm doing specific movements.